My Chapter at Campus Clipper has come to a close. I am so, so grateful for all I’ve learned through this internship and the many ways I’ve stepped out of my comfort zone in the past year!
It may not come as a surprise after I’ve written all these blog posts attempting to give some tips and tricks to college students, but I actually don’t have all the answers, nor do I like pretending I do. At the start of last year’s fall semester, I started these blog posts with a focus on journaling because that was what I felt like I knew best. I still firmly believe that journaling kept me somewhat sane throughout high school and college, and without it, I don’t know where I would’ve ended up. Because of how much journaling helped me, I wanted to share the tactics I’d learned with others. It’s inexaplicably cathartic to write letters you’ll never send, to rant and rage on a piece of paper and burn it, to jot down senses and notes of appreciation, to exist as something that isn’t up for anyone else’s perception, unless, of course, you decide to publish your journals (or you’re like Emily Dickinson, whose sister published her letters, journals, and poems posthumously against her behalf).
When the spring semester began, I wanted to broaden my topic to more than just journaling as a self-help tool, so I branched out into self-care and wellness in general, though I didn’t have too much expertise on such. I did, however, have fun researching faux supplement trends, how to protect your peace in unhealthy environments, and ways to navigate digital life and mental health. I even started recording and editing podcasts about these topics, which was very new to me. Least to say, it’s been a ride, and a rewarding one!
Of course, all good things must come to an end. The truth is, as I board the halfway mark of my master’s degree and my year of being 25, I find myself having a perfectly scheduled quarter-life identity crisis. I simply don’t do a lot of the things I used to, and I’ve started to find difficulty in settling with that information. I haven’t touched my camera in ages, I haven’t journaled much these last few months, and it has become nearly impossible for me to write creatively as opposed to nonfiction or satire, as I feel almost unable to channel deep, passionate emotions into my writing the same way I used to. My reading habits are inconsistent. My Last Four Watched is too commercialized to actually log. Realizing all of these things is a tell-tale sign that I’m in a more transitory period than ever, personality-wise. Most of what I’ve always felt attached to has shifted, or been put on pause, and I’m in the midst of sorting out what I want to come back and what I want to bring in.Â
For a long time, journaling was my coping mechanism AND my main form of writing. It was where I went to understand my feelings and process them. It was where I’d go to say my worst, most unhinged thoughts. It was where I let the other, less composed part of me live, in a way. I still think journaling is that place for me, but I’m not sure I’m in the mental headspace where I need it anymore, at least not as much as I used to. Maybe it’s the fully formed frontal lobe! Despite all the changes I’ve gone through, journaling was something that made me feel tethered to what I thought was a permanent version of myself, someone I thought I was inherently supposed to become. It feels weird to not have journaled or taken pictures in a while, as I’ve pretty much been consistently doing both for the last 10 years. All that is to say, my creative endeavors are headed somewhere, but I’m not quite sure where yet.
Thus, my blog writing journey at Campus Clipper has met its end. I hope to see you at my next spot!
-Brenna
