As a college student, specifically a commuter student, fear of missing out, or FOMO, is my worst enemy. Being a full time college student means that you can’t always go out. Maybe you have to study for a big exam you have the next day. Perhaps you have to catch up on homework or sleep. As a college student you have a lot going on, and it is important to remember this. You still need to be conscious of your grades, work/expenses, and other commitments.
In short, sometimes you just can’t go out. So, how do you deal with having to miss out?
Well, luckily there are ways to reduce the impact of FOMO. Verywellmind.com provides a list of ways to cope with FOMO. Using the article “How to Deal With FOMO in Your Life” by Elizabeth Scott, I have decided to highlight some of my favorite, and most realistic mechanisms.
The author, Elizabeth Scott, suggests journaling. While this is frequently suggested for many different psychological struggles, Scott offers it as a replacement for social media. Instead of posting your memories online you can have more personal documentation. My favorite version of this is junk journaling. It is easy to do, creative, and you can reflect on it easily.
Another suggestion is to focus on “real connections.” Once you begin commuting you may realize some people make less of an effort to hang out. Some friendships are temporary, a lesson that I have struggled learning. Sometimes people struggle with object permanence with people, when you aren’t there, you simply seem not to exist. In my own experience I think there is value in trying to keep friendships intact, however if you are constantly being let down or ignored, place your energy into other friendships. It isn’t easy letting go of people you have had amazing experiences with, but sometimes those experiences and moments are to remain in the past.
According to the National Library of Medicine, one generally accepted reason FOMO sprouts is from comparison via social media. Social media consists of many different platforms that cause everyone to know what everyone else is doing–at all times. There have been many times where I have been completely fine about not going out on a Friday night, and then late at night I scroll seeing post after post detailing how fun everyone’s night was.
The truth is we don’t really know how fun the nights were. There have been many nights that I went out and got some cute pictures, and even if the night was short, boring, disastrous and ended with tears, I still post because the pictures are cute.
You will never know how true posts are on social media. Besides, even if it was an amazing night out that you missed out on, it doesn’t matter because there will be more to come.
As a chronic over thinker with anxiety, here are my personal tips on how to combat FOMO.
- When you start to really feel like you are missing out, do something you truly enjoy. Whether that is a hobby or watching a favorite show, something that you love and find value in can take away ill feelings of being left out.
- If you begin to really miss people, or if you are unable to go to a certain event, make plans with your friends for another time. I mean really make plans too, don’t just say “another day then!” schedule something in advance. For me, knowing I am going to go out with friends always makes me feel better about missing some other event.
- Join a club on campus! I will talk about this more later, but forcing yourself to have commitments is a great way to meet new people and always be doing something.
- Accomplish/finish something. Whether it be homework or a personal goal, feeling productive always makes me feel like missing out was worth it.
- Go for a small, more feasible adventure. Whether that is a walk or a trip to a local museum.
The college lifestyle is heavily centered around going out. College can feel like a whirlwind, but it is important to remember college is actually about learning.
